The more I work with teenagers and watch and hear their stories about how they have walked out their faith for their teen years, i’ve come to the conclusion that how teens answer the next 2 questions is crucial to how they develop emotionally, mentally and spiritually…
I know that things are never simple or straight forward… but i think getting a grasp of these 2 things and the consequences of both good and bad choices in these areas is a good start!
When you are young so much is grabbing for your attention… none more so than these 2 things!
1. What to do with dating…
2 . What to do with the party scene…
A lot of how they answer these questions reflects how they view themselves and how they build their sense of identity… healthy positive choices help bring confidence.
On a side note… I think that part of the reason they are confused about who they are is because sometimes as youth pastors we neglect to teach about personal and social development… but thats a whole other blog!
So what do you do about dating? heres some of my thoughts…
You got choices… the world is your oyster as per say! Don’t rush it… don’t give into your appetite for the opposite sex so easily and cheaply that you miss something far better in your future.
Look for character… someone who will treat you good… someone who has integrity… who is honest, someone who is positive and reliable.
Find someone who is chasing after God… this is so crucial… someone who’s life is transparent… who is serious about choices that move them closer to God and not away from him… someone who doesn’t just pay lip service to faith… someone who is serious about growing more in love with God… BE SURE YOU FIGURE THIS OUT PRE-DATING!!! life is simpler that way
C. S. Lewis describes it as two people walking side by side toward a common goal.
Know your boundaries… theres no doubt that in your mind you are looking at the hottest person on the planet and you are extremely attracted to them, your heart rate goes through the roof when you think about them, that you get excited about them… but don’t compromise by fooling around under the sheets, or anywhere else for that matter! 1st base is the line… don’t do anything you wouldn’t do in public!
Try to change your mindset… try not to live with the mindset that is dictated by the culture, by the people in your school, in the city, on the TV etc… make your mindset the same as Jesus’…
Heres some of what the bible says…
Gal 5:19-23, 19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. 22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!
So what about partying…?
Keep hanging out with your buddies, you are maybe the only contact that some of them will have to the life that Jesus gives.
Alcohol is not bad… abuse of alcohol is the problem… Know your limits… and stay well within them… Don’t drink until you feel the buzz but hold back and stay safe…
Stay safe… alcohol lowers inhibitions and people take more risk… don’t be stupid!!
Stay sober and watch out for your friends… you may just stop them choking to death on their own puke, or driving their car home!
With dating and partying… its so important to think it through and make decisions before you are faced with the situation and risk making the wrong choice in the heat of the moment… PRE DETERMINED choices are the way to go…
make the choice in advance that you wont get drunk… make the choice that you wont date someone who is not interested in growing in their walk with God.
So whats the point… Why be obedient to God? Why live the way he wants you too?
Obedience to God and living an obedient life helps a believer grow closer to Christ.
Not everyone who claims to be a Christian is a Christian. Obedience is some evidence that Christ is alive in their life.
Obedience shows our love for Jesus. Christians are not just robots, blindly doing what Jesus says without knowing why. We have a love for Christ that so overwhelms that we cannot help but do what he wants. In John 14:21-24, Jesus makes this connection. “If you love me, you will obey what I command…Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.”
Our actions show where our hearts are really at. When we really understand God’s love and the significance of Jesus’ death on the cross, we want to obey him–because we love him so much! When you are in a love relationship, obedience becomes a natural thing.
One of the main reasons God wants us to be obedient is that He knows what is best for us but also he wants us to live the good life of obedience, holiness and purity.
Your obedience will show your friends and the people around you that there is something different in your life… It will be obvious that Jesus transforms people!
Please comment… let me know your thoughts!
Paul

This was great. I wish I had known this a few years ago. But you live and you learn right?
Thank you for your words of wisdom Paul. Keep it up!
Awesome post! Simple concepts to read but so challenging to live out. Great post here.
Love it man. Your still sharing wisdom.
Will pass this on to others.
PS – Go on…give us the blog about youth pastors providing personal & social development!! We need it…